At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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