She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
