I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
