hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning