so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
