I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.