Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.