in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
