She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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