Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
