This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
