i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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