He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.