I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Life is so much better after having sex.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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