I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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