I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize