oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
