Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize