she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize