Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize