i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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