week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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