3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I wear drunk well.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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