Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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