Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
