New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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