Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize