Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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