They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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