I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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