We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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