singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
