i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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