good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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