just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize