their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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