Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
