yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
