I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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