I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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