god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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