My brain says no but my pants say off.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
