I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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