3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
