My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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