I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
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She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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