hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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