dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT