I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.