so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
