I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
When are your genitals available?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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