How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
